Buy My Book

This was part of our assignment in the class.

We had to come up with adverstisement of an imaginary book that we wrote , and speak for 2 mins.

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Have you heard something like this from your friends?

“Hey you know what, I got a super deal from Wal-Mart, the chair you bought for 70 $, I got it for 7$”.

U smile and say, How nice, but on inside u r thinking “what the hell”.

Well not anymore, I bet u don’t have to worry about these situations anymore.

After you read my book “The essentials of super market”.

I am Aniket, and once like you victim of super markets, always getting bad deals , mocked by my friends and buying stuff that I never used , just because , it was on Sale.

Then one day I said to myself Enough!!! .

I got down to uncovering truths about these supermarkets. I did odd jobs; like salesman, watchman, even janitors in these stores to understand there working.

I went through their catalogs, from point of their inception, to really understand their pricing model. I scanned newspaper to chart their sale seasons.

In short I collected a huge amount of data , then by using latest forecasting tools ,developed by professors at Harvard Business school , I came up with theories that’s gives definitive answers.

Like ; When is the best time to buy an Item and from which store. Which items should be avoided at all costs.

In short how to become a smart and assured shopper.

For example, I wouldn’t recommend buying shoes until fall.

These tricks of trade have worked with my friends; they have helped me validate my theories and in process saved quite a bit of money.

I can give their numbers so that you could talk to them.

What are you waiting for? Shop smart, save large. Essentials of super market is there to help you.

Home Coming to The Whitehouse

OK! its not really whitehouse types..

But its white and its our house .. so we affectionately call it our little

'whitehouse'.

4B2HK , with a front lawn ,duplex its not that little either :P. Its named 'Apoorva-Sandhya' after my bro and my mum.

Which means 'an evening likenever before' :D, enchanting ain't it?

Since its completion i was never fortunate to live here for considerable amount of time, I was forced to live in utterly puny and constricted rooms , all over the country , literally :(.

This time around also i don't have much time to enjoy here :( . Just few days then I am off to living in some dingy flat in a strange country.

I am trying to enjoy the max, whatever time I have here.

Sleeping peacefully , eating with full gusto ;), spending time with family.

But highlight of the day is the daily cycle ride that I undertake , through serene cantonment area nearby.

Pelting berries, riped by time and intoxicated by gravity, and swarming insects , who are just too eager to make an eye contact with me , fail to dampen my enthusiasm for riding along. This ride is kind of feeble attempt to shed the flab :) , so its being done religiously.

Last night I stepped out to the terrace sipping lemonade. I saw the moon , playing like a child in the sky , tossing and turning in its cloudy blankets. Sometimes it disappeared completely under them , all of sudden tossed them aside to reveal its full glory. The naughty breeze was gleefully playing its part.
I was at peace. I could'nt help but think , its good to be at Home.

Cheers!

GoodBye and Thanks for All the Bench

This is the Last Day mail that I send to All my friends in Infosys on My Last Day.
This Mail Pretty Much summerizes my feelings on closing of one of the most memorable Chapters of My life .
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Hi All,

It has been 864 days that makes it 3110400 moments of being an Infoscion.

These moments were like a roller coaster ride of emotions and experiences.

Starting with intense wonder (Mysore Experience), total joy of completion of training, heights of joblessness, helpless feeling of getting stuck in never ending projects, bliss fostering lasting friendship. Frustration of traffic and low compensations. Excruciating pain of dislocating shoulder and even more painful heartbreaks.

I believe in no other organization could have come close to providing these many avenues to experience life, along with many opportunities to lose weight and stay fit (GYM , swimming pool and steam bath were charming too :) ).

Today on the last day of my first innings in Infy, I feel getting sucked in the a vortex of simmering memories.The affect is drowsing and dazzling both at the same time.

It would be wrong on my part to say that I became top notch IT professional, gained hoard of technical stuff, in these two years.

In fact that would be a bare faced lie.

All I can say that I transformed from a small city simpleton to…..well still a simpleton who knows to wriggle out of corporate mess.

I thank each one of you from bottom of my heart. You have helped me achieving this transformation in one way or the other, and making this ride memorable.

My biggest sense of achievement would be if I touched your heart in some way or the other. I always have strived to make people smile around me, expect my Managers and TL’s, who generally end up crying :).

In that process if my PJ’s and stupid comments irritated you, please acknowledge that it was done with best of intentions.

I am off to pursue higher education, partly due to the fact I have been instructed by my family to gain masters before losing bachelors.

But I strongly urge you all to keep in touch, my personal email id is aniketbhatt3@gmail.com, also I have my presence in e world through Orkut and Facebook.

Who knows I might come back to take over approval process of your DART's and leaves :).

Warm Regards

Aniket Bhatt.

TM_Project 5_LOVE_ALL

Life is like a tennis match, you will get returns only if you serve well. And everyone begins with the same score LOVE ALL.Mr Toastmaster, Fellow TM and guests.
For a single man like me the above quote is only ray of light in a dark tunnel.
LOVE All, my static score since the time I felt the need to increase it.
Every time, when I tried, I was the only player remaining on the court while other player, some unique and beautiful specimen of fairer sex left, before the match could even begin.
Today, I am sharing such three such "miss"-matches with all of u.

I played my first match in the posh premises of Infy Mysore during my training days.She was ultra stylish and whenever she entered the classroom she managed to turn heads. Her eyes were chocolaty brown; whenever her eyes meet mine I felt sweetness and warmth flow out of them, which drowned me in sea of happiness. Our chats on messenger were becoming personal gradually.
My hopes which were on rise everyday were dashed ruthlessly one fine day.
It was late in the evening; I was working on my assignment after my daily dose of ECC which included Gym, swimming and steam. I was looking fresh and full of energy with my hair neatly parted, as usual.
She entered, her chocolaty eyes met my eyes, and we smiled. She started to make her way towards me. After reaching near to me she said.
"You are looking like a cute kid, today I feel like running my hand through your hair".
I was speechless, my reaction was :O
After waiting for my nonexistent remark for few seconds she left. I was fuming, but I don’t know whether I was angry at her for calling me a kid, or not doing what she said she would do.
Anyways she thought I looked like a kid! I was doomed!

The venue of my next match was a little noisy and err… a bit shaky as well - Karnataka Express from Bangalore to DelhiShe came like a wind and sat opposite to me. The first thing that struck me was she wasn’t carrying any luggage, something that I quickly forgot looking at her more closely.
She seemed perfect epitome of damsel in distress. Her eyes were swollen and were red like cherries. She was staring constantly outside the window with a poker face. Her hair were dancing to the rhythm of breeze which was gushing in; she made no efforts to tame them.I was pretending to read a novel. But all the time I was trying to glance at her through edges of my book.
After reading 2 whole paragraphs in some 2 hours, I finally gathered courage.
"Hi I am Aniket"
She looked me as if she was seeing me for the first time. It took her sometime to respond. And once she did, the next 20 hours seem to melt away, we talked talked and talked.
From college exploits to bollywood scandals, from weather to election results.
I was on seventh heaven, was this love at first sight?
All too soon, her destination came. I innocently asked for her number and contact details. To that she replied she was running away from her home, to get married to her love something which was opposed by her parents, hence she had no number that she could give and she left.

My most recent match took place during my last project in Bangalore.
She was the star attraction of our team. The whole team really took care of her, whenever she was faced with some error or ABEND in her code, the whole team gathered around her and removed those with great dexterity.
The days she wore white, wow, she looked like a lilly on a cold misty morning, with dew settled on its petal like pearls. Such delicate arrangement by nature, that one is afraid to even touch it.To carve a niche in her life was difficult, but somehow I succeeded, from few mails exchanged in a day , to sustained conversation on communicator , we made steady progress. But the only medium that seem to enter a girls heart now a days is the electromagnetic radiations that are emitted by this device.
And unfortunately I can’t handle this device at a stretch for more than 15 minutes. One fine day she was in a good mood and wanted to talk forever. But soon we reached a point where we both were saying the same thing
"And, now you tell me"
"No you tell me"
"Noooo , you only tell me"
I was thinking ‘say something’, ‘say something funny’, ’no say something smart and funny’.
I ended up telling her about Obama’s economic policies and how they are going to affect Indian IT industry.
Which I admit was neither smart nor funny.
The calls stopped immediately, the pings died gradually and mails became extinct in few weeks.
From these and many other such incidents, I have learnt that it’s wise to play the waiting game. It makes sense to wait for someone who likes the way you are, doesn’t mind things like, you looking young or your inability to talk smooth on phone.
In other words look for a player who appreciates your natural game.
Till then let it be LOVE ALL.
Over to you Mr Toastmaster.

TM_Project 4_PM_2_AM

It was dark and the space was constricted .The only noises were those of subdued snores and the faint humming sounds of the AC. Dragging my baggage with great amount of effort I finally reached my destination.
Madame Toastmaster, fellow Toastmasters and guests.
I was shocked to see someone else cozily cuddled in my seat like a baby. I kept my luggage aside, gently shook the sleeping gentleman out of his slumber and said confidently "Sir this is my seat".
Reluctantly and irritated he got up. He removed his ticket from the wallet, and claimed that seat was indeed his. Discussion followed, people woke from their deep sleep and started gathering, like flies gather around a cake. Finally the TT came, took both tickets in his custody and like a priest solemnly pronounced my ticket is a day old. I felt the floor of AC compartment of the railway coach slip beneath me.
The anomaly of the Gregorian calendar manifested itself with dire consequences on that fateful day. The arrival time of that cursed train was 11.50 pm and departure time was 12.10 am. So effectively day changed. And I was stuck with a day old ticket.
Thankfully when it comes to wishing pretty girls on their birthday I don’t make such mistakes.
But Alas! There I was, holding a day old ticket pleading the TT to reconsider repeatedly pointing to my wallet.
The TT was unmoved, like the rock of Gibraltar and refused blatantly to take the bait of green notes.
I kept prodding; taking pity on me he suggested a loop hole in the system. He said that the only person that could help me was the station commerce officer, who sits on platform no 1.
A ray of hope.
The train was parked on platform no 6. To reach platform 1 I had to climb an over bridge, tear across maze of human traffic and descend down. I ran like a horse and reached the cabin of the officer. I was panting profusely; cold beads of moisture which had accumulated on my forehead were trickling down on my face.
The cabin had a typical government office look. The officer was surrounded by hoard of sycophants; his desk was cluttered with files and paper. My dramatic entry caught everyone's attention. I started rambling and complaining, I tried to put the blame on railways for issuing me ticket for onward journey when it wasn’t possible for me to catch the second train.
This line of attack backfired bluntly on my face. The officer scolded me and told me to board next train. The next train was at 5'o'Clock in the morning.
Crestfallen, I gathered my luggage along with my shattered spirits.
My next stop was the railway reservation counter which was outside the main station, in an adjacent building. I was shown the door once again! The man sitting at the counter said that the next train has only unreserved coaches, whose tickets are issued only 2 hour before the departure. An unreserved coach at this time of the year!! It was start of the Holi vacations.
I entered the station again to make my way to the retirement room.
Lo Behold! That train was still there. It was way past its departure time. Maybe it was God's will that I board this train. Adrenaline stared oozing through my system.
I don’t know what made me go back to the commerce officer's cabin again!
This time the atmosphere had changed drastically.
The room was dim. The sycophants had left. The officer laid indisposed, flat on his stomach on a makeshift bed. An old lady was massaging his back.
Stunned by this sight I mustered courage once again. This time I was diplomatic, and used sentences infused with ‘please’ and 'sorry'.
He seemed taken aback; he too was shocked to know that train hadn’t left the station yet.
After a long pregnant silence, he asked me curtly "Do you have 100 Rs".
Those words were like honey to my ears.
"Yes Sir I have", I said with assuredly.
He pulled out his stamp, scribbled something of my ticket, and viola I had a valid ticket now!
And it was time to run again. I noticed to my great horror that object of my affection started to move. I started galloping, cutting across the crowd like a hot knife through butter, I reached platform 6. The train had gathered quite a bit of momentum by now. My mind went blank, what to do! What to do!
I saw a friendly person at the door of a sleeper compartment willing to help me.
The last scene from DDLJ flashed in my head. But Kajol wasn’t carrying a heavy handbag, a laptop bag, a back-bag. And wondered if that person was as strong as Sharukh khan!Throwing caution to winds, I decided to take chance, somehow came abreast with that open door. Threw my bag at his outstretched hands and literally dived into the coach.
Totally out of breath and exhausted, I slumped to the floor of the coach after, my greatest misadventure with railways.
Apart from losing weight from all the running around , I gained some valuable lessons from this fiasco.
First: double check the date and time while booking tickets.
Second: travel light; you never know when you have to run around with weight u r carrying.
And the most important, never lose hope, things can change dramatically in your favor at 11th hour.
So wish you all of you a happy and safe journey and with valid tickets.
Over to you Mam Toastmaster …

TM_Project 3_GoldMines

A slum dweller, without any formal education, knew all the answers to a quiz show. Latter he reveals that he knew the answers unconsciously from incidents and people around him. This was the premise of much celebrated movie in recent times. Can it be useful in real life?
Mr. Toastmaster, fellow toastmaster and dear guests.
In my opinion one doesn't have to be scholar and read thousands of books to be knowledgeable. The whole world can be your teacher, only if you behave like attentive students you stand to learn a world from them. Also to be knowledgeable is not merely to know facts and figures; one has to learn to behave wisely also.
Could there be a better place to start learning than from one’s home.
I have learnt a lot from my family.
It’s said that mother is the first teacher, which is obvious, but in my case I am still learning from my mother. My mother in her 40’s, comfortably employed in government sector; choose to do her PhD at an age where most of women are worried about latest affairs and re-carnations in their favorite family soaps. This taught me that there is no stopping to the learning curve, there is always scope to do something extra if one is willing.
My father taught me humbleness; he has helped friends and far flung relatives, who don’t even call up in their good times, when they really wanted it most. According to him when we help others we merely act as agents to facilitate God’s will. Therefore it’s inappropriate to take credit or expect something in return when we help others.
I learnt to be self dependent from my grandfather. He has a separate household and an active practice in Mumbai High court in-spite of being in his 80’s and after one bypass surgery. He has steadfastly refused pleas from my uncles to quit working and enjoy retirement that he deserves.
I am sure that we all revere our elders in our family, but what about our friends. Agreed that they are our peers, which may lead our ego to block out their qualities, that can help us grow.
I consider myself lucky to have stayed four years in a hostel , along with an eclectic group of students , each were informed in some respect or the other ,which provided me ample learning opportunities.
I was part of many unique circles of friends who contributed to my progress in different ways.
A Extremely Studious group: They made me aware of the many opportunities which benefitted me, and also set example of sincerity and dedication to academics, which sadly I didn’t inculcate.
Computer Geek group : I got to know about graphic cards , games , RAM , processors and what not from them.
Rock Group: Initially I was ridiculed immensely for having almost no knowledge of English music industry, but quickly enough I grasped knowledge about Rock, R&B and hip hop. It’s often said music help break down the barriers; additionally it can help impress girls if you happen to know the perfect romantic songs which are new to them.
"Listen to this song! You will love it ". Believe me this line works always, if you have "THE" song lined up.
English movies lovers Group: I can claim to have seen some of the most celebrated cinematic masterpieces which I would have missed if not for them.
An annoyingly "know it all" group: They made me feel ashamed of my GK, and enforced on me habit of browsing newspaper on a regular basis.
All in all a truly humbling experience, I learnt so much from each one of them, I can’t thank them enough.
Family and friends done but what about strangers that you happen to meet? They are not to be treated lightly either. Sometimes you happen to meet interesting specimen of human species, who are only too eager to talk talk and talk, especially while travelling. They have tendency to pour out all their knowledge on absolutely anyone who is willing to hear. I failed to see their importance initially, but I have realized listening to their incessant chatter might help you.
It can be an over eager aunty relating her shopping experiences, one could know places to avoid beforehand, or know the places where one can avail cheap bargains.
Or a knowledgeable Uncle commenting on country’s present political scenario, which can save weeks of editorial reading.
One doesn’t have to necessarily need to participate in these discussions, merely active listening will do.
Once on our way to Goa, an overly helpful uncle, who we befriended on the train, made our entire itinerary in matter of minutes , he saw us struggle with an open map , not sure what to do and where to go. He came forward on his own, and helped us plan an efficient trip, which turned out to be one of the best ever! Sometimes one doesn’t need to ask also!
We all are software engineers here and know the value of reusability, if someone has made a module of knowledge , its common sense to borrow that module and install it in ourselves, rather than code it from scratch.
If we have a templates of behaviors that has been successful we don’t have to design them.
I urge you all to treat every person that you meet a potential goldmine of wisdom and decide wisely what you extract from him/her.
Over to you Mr Toastmaster.